Jeffreybritanico’s Weblog

(wo)Mannerisms October 6, 2008

The way you flip your hair; the way you stand on one foot; the way adjust your glasses or your bangs in mid-sentence all drive me crazy as irrelevant as they are. They reveal nothing about what you would be like in a long-term relationship or what you would really think of my friends. The way you bob your tea bag up and down does not give any indication of whether my family would give a stamp of approval but I cannot help but notice. I can’t help but be hooked in by your trivial habits.

I can’t help but convince myself that by noticing those little things you do, I can become knowledgeable enough about you that maybe we have a chance for a real connection. I try to convince myself that maybe I can look past whatever commitment issues that I have and risk being heartbroken just for you. In my mind I know I can’t but honestly it seems I tell myself more that “I shouldn’t have.”

Those silly mannerisms you picked up, probably, from seeing someone do it in a movie or on TV. The witty catch phrases you say are probably previously read and remembered from the side of a coffee cup or in whatever magazine you read. One can make the argument that although these mannerisms are not instinctive nor original, they still are a part of you. I agree with that, to a certain level. Those little habits you do as adorable as they are, only make a minuscule percent what you’re all about. Or at least I hope so.

But are you worth trying to get past that facade? Are you with the time and the effort and the silly games you put guys like me through? I wish there was some sort of risk-ratio-analyzing action that women do because I have no idea if you are worth that sour feeling of rejection. I can look for answers and try to calculate the outcome all day long but I’ll never know without that risk.

For guys like me, it seems the most logical question in this bittersweet search is, unfortunately, a rhetorical one: Is there any other way? It mocks us by answering itself by rearrangement and a big fat no.Therefore I’ll soldier on my efforts with a subtle smile and a clever opening line. I’ll shave. I’ll look for the right cologne. I’ll actually actually care what I wear. Regardless, with all my tiresome attempts to get you to indicate interest, what can I honestly expect? Would you actually share the same risk as me?