to every woman i’ve ever met

to every friend of a friend i don’t remember the name of

to my fourth grade desk neighbor who let me cheat off her quizzes

to that girl on facebook, which is probably a fake account but her profile picture is pretty

to the girls i don’t call back

to the girls who don’t pick up

to those girls, those girls who were only about that thing, that thing, that thing

to the wooo girls that don’t know when they had one too many

to those who’ve helped me paint a perfect, prophetic portrait of passionate penetration; giving and taking everything we can take and give on a temper-pedic mattress

to every train wreck of a first date

to every spontaneous conversation you only see in Woody Allen movies

to every headache i’ve ever had

to every heartbreak i’ve ever given

to every subtle smile i’ve gotten on the skytrain

from lipstick on the collar to minor remark

on my hands, in my head or craved right on my heart

positive or negative; big or small; you’ve made your mark

and i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.

i trace back in my mind to this inventory

of everything from slow dances to shared umbrellas to one single sad story

to scented scarf to slanderous hearsay to youtube clips worth five stars

to a small ounce of strength to cold showers to even this very scar

you’ve even made me muffins once. MUFFINS! two kinds! there was a cranberry one but i loved the double chocolate banana one the most

you gave me time and a piece of yourself even if it was just a small dose

and i took it for granted, probably. they were fragile moments, i wasn’t careful with these

i let go of them or they went ear to ear or let them catch in the breeze

to be never seen again

and i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.

Also I want to ask

what were you thinking?

every douche boyfriend you’re still with

every sweater you put on your little dog

every text message you send in mid-conversation with someone else

every time you get completely wasted… on a wednesday… afternoon… by yourself

every tramp stamp

every fake laugh you give because he’s cute

what were you thinking?

i know we’re supposed to strive for equality between sexes

as impossible as it is to define but Uggz and tights combo not helping

and also i want to say thank you

a thank you to every woman i’ve ever met in my life

because i like to think in one way or another, in the end you’ve helped me pick my wife